this is not for you

by foxtails

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rem10
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rem10 This stuff gets me right in the emotions. Beautiful work Favorite track: random names always work.
tommy buns
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tommy buns the band that lead me to seek more female vocals, for that, i thank you Favorite track: every window in alcatraz has a view of san francisco.
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credits

released March 22, 2015

thanks to nathan sage for dealing with all of our bullshit for the past month and making this happen
thanks to dan coutant for mastering

thanks to years of depression and anxiety along with crippling trauma inspiring us to write all this bullshit

foxtails is:
megan c - vocals
jon b - guitar, vocals
josh g - bass, guitar, vocals
mike l - the thing that is loud with sticks

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about

foxtails Connecticut

bunch of fucked up kids from ct

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Track Name: random names always work
sometimes i look back / and i always regret / if i could walk away from here my footprints still would stain the ground
but i myself have never seen to keep an eye on the things i should worry about
i would rather go up in flames / than discern exactly how i'm freezing to death
and here i lay / vices embraced
Track Name: purge
maybe i shouldn't ask or maybe i shouldn't tell / i spilled my guts hoping you'd give me yours to fill me up again / my skin fell on your lap that night i bled from the core / and i wouldn't care even if i tried
when you threw your heavy hands through the glass window i felt the shards stab life into me again
and in the trenches we lingered to admire the forest above / and your shallow breaths lingered in my body for years

if i could find a way to undo these knots in my speech / then my voice would flow with the speed of a waterfall and i could / look you in the eye and tell you i haven't / regressed
Track Name: vacant lottery
subjective and short sighted / your words when they ridicule mine / feel like i need to scream / in order to outvoice an ant / and the fool stands in order to be heard / so now i'm gonna stand and say to you

you're making me have this feeling / i've hiding underneath my sleeve / it makes me want / to not breathe / maybe i guess i have a chance / if i steal the faces of them all / but who'll be there when i fall? / i've been so far away / from the place i should've been all along

think you saw me yesterday / running around in a vacant lot / i hope you saw what happened / and i hope you never find out / i stand when i'm asked to sit / and i've been standing for far too long

don't say that we are safe / but who's safe in a vacant lot?
Track Name: ccc
i am just a black hole sucking up all the stars / i will stay here against my will and yours
weak lungs and racing hearts can only drown / and what may lie at the bottom of the sea shall be my salvation
lungs filled with doubts and distress / have frozen solid with fear / presence of a ghost and voice of a mute / i'd rather be put to rest
Track Name: the ten commandments of ryan f.
i closed up / as your skin touched mine / it was so cold / and i couldn't help but shake / i see cars crashing / and i see shadows twitching / with fear and with vice / and i guess i can't really / tell them apart
seems i've realized / that there is a veil between me and all else / don't get attached / don't get attacked / should've learned this long ago / would've saved me the trouble
"maybe you should stop / speaking in the past tense cuz then you'll get stuck" / just like in 7th grade / such a young mess on the floor but let's just forget that / all my memories are just a blur / and i'm sure that there's a reason for that
and my shoulder blades / formed the shapes my insides twisted into / but who cares anyway / they mimic my weak voice fairly well
resting restlessly near the wall / what kept me alive were the breaths that i held
Track Name: every window in alcatraz has a view of san francisco
now the wind can tear me to shreds / and my bones turn to dust / why should i keep standing if i don't even have a spine / and my bones turn to
well i suppose that this is how it goes / honey you should know that i don't let these things go / and to keep me here is to kill off your air and your lungs will be mine as our tracheae entwine / thought you knew sometime ago that this never was a joke / i tend to lack vision even amongst the stars
why can't someone look in my eyes / without tearing them apart / slow regressions from now to then / slow progressions from if to when
i am both terrified of everything i am and everything i will never be
i'll stay up til sunlight screams for me to go to fucking sleep / i guess you suit me well / you suit me well / you suit me well
my condolences for never forgetting your name it's stitched in my brain so that i always feel the pain
cascades of puke and blood / fell down the drain / wax and wane / wax and wane / along with past daydreams of the sun's embrace / wax and wane / wax and
found naive to a certain extent and i will never know why / i'm sick of clean skin and painless touches / why can't i just get what i deserve / and to keep me here's to kill off your air and your lungs will be mine as our tracheae entwine

i'd slit my throat with a smile on my face if it meant i could ever get out
at 2 am i woke up drenched in sweat to feel the moths taking up the air
it must be nice not to know exactly how it feels to get raped from the inside out / and i might as well just cry / and i cried / i cried / i cried / on your chest
Track Name: i can't fucking write books because i only write songs now
in transit i lay still / the windows bend and ceilings mock the seas / faces move and their lips seem to stall / progress moves as egos laugh / and i still live in this crevice of a home / and of course the most terrifying things aren't real / but alas my vision's blocked by projections of demons under my bed
help me redirect my will / shadows are not scared of pills / i know now that words can kill / rip the cords out of my throat / i'm sick of sounding like a joke / hope i'm silenced, hope i choke
in transit i lay still— / sharp skin and syringes pierce my eyes / i never was one to put up a fight / progress moves as voices amass / and i could not care less for this piece of shit called home / and of course they say that only time can heal / but i, well i could have been dead by now
last time i felt sharp was when it cut my wrists / last time i lived was when i jumped ship / thought i knew better than to let stones break my bones / but i guess i'm just dumb for leaving my limbs exposed / if i stayed here / for a day or two / do you think maybe then these knives could get through? / pray to whatever's in the sky for the courage to die / dear god, why do i even try
Track Name: well, well, well, how the turntables...
when did these bruises start to keep me from moving / it's been two months and i can't remember / what it is i've done right
where's the wavelength that i'm supposed to be on? / i think i fell off of it / a very long time ago / what's the point of this heart-to-heart / if we're both crossing our arms
my gaze left the windowpane / and my wrists laid in white and red / and last time i checked this was all on my neck / but blame's a fucking funny thing
the first time i was lost / was midday in a small place / i looked nowhere— / everywhere i swear
9 years later i'm still lost and i never got home / if i could i would bring myself home but home is anywhere but here